Scars
by Little Miss Slytherclaw
Summary: 'What' he asked, glancing around the maroon and gold room for a hint before looking down to check his shirt. 'Is there something on me shir-' He trailed off. He saw what his friends were staring at. 'Oh'
1. Chapter 1

**So I'm still hoping to get the next chapter of Memories up sometime soon, but this was just nagging at my brain saying 'write me. write meeeeeee'... so I wrote it and put the next chapter of Memories on hold...**

 **This One Shot deviated from the original plan so much that I actually find it entertaining! I hope you guys like it. It's taken up most of my weekend.**

 **Please let me know what you think and if there are any issues or anything else.**

 **Thanks for reading!**

 **P.S. I seem to have misplaced my glasses. I can barely see the words on my screen. Maybe time to zoom in? Damn my fleeting eyesight!**

 **Disclaimer: Oh if only Queen Rowling would give us a glimpse into the marauder's lives... But... even if she did, I doubt it would turn out like this XD**

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Scars

He hadn't meant for anyone to see, but sometimes things don't work out as they are planned, right? And with N.E.W.T.'s just around the corner, it wasn't a surprise that he forgot something in his exhaustion, especially considering his rough transformation that he underwent recently.

It's crazy how one mistake could cost everything he had worked so hard to achieve. All of them now knew what he was behind his carefully constructed mask, all because he forgot to put on his glamour charms one weekend, after sleeping half of the day away.

He was still buttoning his shirt up when he walked into the Gryffindor common room, his shoes untied and his hair a messy flop on his head. He hated not being impeccably dressed, but he had promised his friends that he would study with them that particular afternoon, and he was already, in his mind, late. He hated being late even more than being less than impeccably dressed.

As the door to the boys dormitory shut with an audible click, a group of boys turned their heads, mischievous grins gracing each of their faces. Remus knew those particular grins, as he had one himself. Those grins were saved for when they were alone and working on their pranks and mastermind ideas. He smiled at the idea of working on their plans instead of homework. They had been doing nothing but homework lately. A break sounded nice.

Just as he was about to join the three boys, he noticed each of their grins slipping, and he frowned. They began to act incredibly strange. It was unnerving.

Peter looked away as soon as Remus made eye contact with him, suddenly finding the fringe on a blanket incredibly interesting, James's eyes kept running over Remus's body, a heavy amount of concern now placed on his usually carefree features, and Sirius just stared. He looked so intense that it made Remus shiver.

'What?' he asked, glancing around the maroon and gold room for a hint before looking down to check his shirt. 'Is there something on me shir-'

He trailed off.

He saw what his friends were staring at.

'Oh'

It felt like a train hit him. He couldn't breathe, he couldn't see, he couldn't even think. His head was pounding so hard, all of the blood rushing past his eardrums.

This couldn't be happening.

He felt the back of his eyes itching and knew if he didn't get away he'd show him another thing that he didn't want to. He'd show them his emotions. He couldn't show him his emotions. He had to get away. He had to leave. He needed to wake up. This all was just a bad nightmare, wasn't it?

After exhaling a shaky breath, he turned and ran. He could barely call it running. He felt so weak, as if his legs would just snap under all of this pressure and fear he felt.

He could vaguely hear James call out to him, but he didn't pause.

Fortunately, he didn't have to run very far. He made it to the boys dormitory, shut the door and quickly locked it, and leaned up against the door.

Seven years. He had been able to keep his secret for seven years. He had been able to keep his friends for seven years. He had been able to be relatively normal for seven years. And now he had ruined it seven measly weeks before their final year ended.

Why? Why did he have to screw everything up?

With a lurch in his stomach, he realized that his greatest fear would come true. His mates, his best mates, the only people who seemed to actually care about him, would hate him. No one could love a monster, and that's exactly what he was. He was a monster, a complete and utter monster.

What was he going to do?

He looked down at his hands which, like the rest of his body, held scars. Some of them were new and puffy while some of them were old and seemed to be simple white lines. That's when he felt the first tear role down his cheek. He could feel the sting as it rolled past his newest additions, the three long, jagged cuts that ran across his entire face.

The pain was staggering. Of course, he knew it was less of the physical pain that he felt, but even emotion pain could be felt as if it were physical.

He let out a small cry of agony, of frustration, of fear, before he took a few shaky steps in attempt to reach his bed. He needed to get to his bed. He could feel the blackness pulling at his vision and knew he wouldn't make it.

Remus didn't even make it to the rug.

With a small gasp, he crumpled to the cold stone floor, the pain overwhelming. With a few final tears, he let the darkness overtake him.

Feeling nothing was better than feeling pain right?

/-|-/-|-\\-|-\

'Remus wait!' James cried out, standing up in a mad rush, attempting to stop one of his best mates, but found he was stopped by another of them. Sirius was gripping his wrist so hard it actually hurt, and James turned to him, his eyes still wide with concern. And confusion.

Sirius shook his head and James, frowning, sat down.

'You're too emotional' Sirius stated, his voice flat and incredibly even. He took a slow breath, only the slightest tremor detected.

'But he needs us!' James cried out, standing up again, attempting to break through Sirius's grip, but instead of loosening, it tightened. Face contorted, James turned to Sirius. 'Let go of me!'

James attempted to free himself from the steel grip once more, but failed. As he sat down, defeated, with a sigh, Sirius pressed his lips into a firm line.

'Why won't you let me go to him?' James asked in a shaky voice and Sirius could feel him trembling under his grip. He loosened up.

'I already told you' He said evenly 'You're too emotional. You don't think'

James snarled, throwing Sirius's hand off of him. 'At least I care!' he yelled, emphasizing his point with a harsh shove on Sirius's arm. Sirius didn't stop him. Instead, he turned slowly to James, fire behind his eyes. He looked so, well, serious.

'Don't you dare insinuate that I don't care' he said, gritting his teeth, but keeping his tone deadly even. James backed off the slightest bit. 'Don't you fucking dare. If it weren't for me, you would be finding out about Remus for the first fucking time!'

Sirius was pissed, and Peter could feel it. Having being so silent that the two boys had almost forgot he was even there, it surprised everyone when the smaller boy let out a small squeak and moved away from the fighting duo.

Sirius ran his fingers through his long black hair, the entire situation weighing heavily on his shoulders, James sat shell-shocked, his eyes wide. He didn't see it, but he could imagine James slumping his shoulders and dropping his eyes to the ground.

'You're right' James whispered. 'I am too emotional and I don't think through almost anything'

Sirius held back an emotionless chuckle. 'I'm glad you finally admit to it' He said, glancing up at James and giving him a small smile.

The smile didn't last long, as Peter interrupted them, his voice timid and shaky. 'Guys' He managed nervously tapping each of the larger boys on their shoulders. Sirius snapped his head to look at him, and he gulped nervously.

'Remus got really quiet'

/-|-/-|-\\-|-\

'Shit!' Sirius said, his chest contracting painfully as he realized what that might mean.

Stomach twisting, head pounding, and incredibly worried, Sirius scrambled to his feet, the sounds of his other two mates falling on deaf ears. He needed to get to Remus, he absolutely had to.

After stumbling over the rug, Sirius ran the short distance to the entrance of the boys dormitory. Afterwards, if you would've asked either James or Peter, they would've just shaken their heads in confusion. This was not normal behavior for Sirius. Unless, that is, it involved a certain Remus Lupin.

'Remus!' Sirius frantically called through the door, jiggling the handle, cursing at the fact that it was locked. He tried again, but to no avail.

'REMUS!' He yelled, hitting the door, and upon not receiving a reply, he bashed his shoulder into heavy oak wood. The door shook, Sirius swore.

If he hadn't been so preoccupied, he would've heard James telling him to use his wand, even though James could've simply done the same thing, but neither of them were truly thinking. Poor Peter was standing a few feet back, trembling from head to toe.

With a yell of frustration, Sirius rammed into the door again, stumbling slightly when it broke off of its hinges and fell to the floor with a loud bang. Ignoring the dust swirling around him, Sirius searched the room, found Remus lying a few feet short of the fallen door, and ran to his side, falling to his knees and gripping the unconscious boy by his shoulders

'Damn you' he managed, his voice shaking far too much for anyone's liking, especially James's, who had just stepped through the now broken doorway. 'You're too fucking weak to be getting yourself worked up right now'

'Peter' James said, not turning his eyes away from the two on the floor. Peter squeaked. 'Get Madam Pomfrey'. The smaller boy nodded feverishly and ran. James made his way to the other half of their group, his shaking hands giving him away.

'I thought I was the emotional one'

Sirius let out a harsh laugh, oblivious to the fact that there were tears tracing his cheeks. He pulled the werewolf's head onto his lap and moved to protectively hold his upper body, ignoring his own shaking self. He barely felt James's hand on his shoulder.

'He'll be fine you know.' James said softly, looking away from his usually stoic friend. 'True, this won't be easy on him so soon after a transformation, but he'll be fine'

Sirius didn't respond, only gripped Remus tighter.

/-|-/-|-\\-|-\

The first thing that Remus registered were the garbled voices of his best mates. Wondering why in Merlin's beard they were all talking so close to his bed, he attempted to open his eyes. That didn't work. It felt like they were glued shut. He tried lifting his hand to rub at them, hoping to clear the sleep from them, but his arm felt like someone had laid the knight bus on it. He groaned, then he was able to hear the voices a little clearer.

'Madam Pomfrey' He heard James call 'He's waking up'

At almost the same time, he also felt a hand fall on his shoulder. It was calloused and why was he shirtless?

'Don't worry mate. We're here for you' He heard Sirius, though he wasn't sure how. Sirius's voice was uncharacteristically quiet. 'We'll always be here for you'

Then everything came rushing back. The scars, their faces, the pain, the fear. His breathing quickened, but he still couldn't open his eyes. Sirius didn't know what he was saying, he simply must not know what he was. No, Sirius couldn't possibly promise to be there for him if he knew Remus was a werewolf, could he?

'Out you lot. He needs his space and I need mine so out' Madam Pomfrey said, no doubt she was ushering the three boys away from his bedside. He had to be in the infirmary, not his dormitory. That made much more sense.

'We'll be back Moony' He heard Sirius call, and he couldn't help but feel a pang of sorrow sink into the pit of his stomach. He would miss that voice.

'Drink' He was ordered, and he felt a goblet touch his lips. Always the good boy, he opened his lips and felt the potion slide down his throat. Within seconds, the heaviness of his limbs lessoned, and he was able to open his eyes.

'Good' Madam Pomfrey said with a sympathetic smile before helping him sit up and holding out another potion to him 'This one will help with your other symptoms'

His other symptoms. He sighed and took the potion into his hands, holding it for a short moment as he thought about the consequences of his mistake. He'd loose them, he just knew it.

'Drink up' Pomfrey commanded and Remus automatically complied 'And stop your worrying. They're good young lads, it would take more than your condition for them to abandon you'

/-|-/-|-\\-|-\

'How are you feeling mate?'

Remus turned to see Sirius staring down at him, his hands in his incredibly muggle jeans and a worry line prominent in his forehead. The young werewolf sighed and sat up, propping himself against his pillow and the headboard of the rather small infirmary bed. A quick glance at his hands confirmed his suspicion. His glamour charms were still off.

He didn't answer.

'Well, you look like shit, but that's understandable' Sirius continued, as if he didn't mind being ignored, and sat himself on the edge of the bed, eyes still fixated on Remus, who was still staring at his hands.

'I'm loving your newest scars.' He added, raising his eyebrows slightly in amusement. 'They match mine'

Remus's eyes shot up to meet Sirius's, confusion flitting across his features.

'What do you mean yours?' He asked cautiously, his eyes scanning the visible skin of Sirius, searching for any physical damage. Sirius grinned and pulled at the neckline of his shirt, showing a portion of his shoulder and, along with that, a nearly fresh wound that consisted of three long cuts. A near perfect match to Remus's face.

Remus's frown deepened.

'How'd you get that?' He asked, his voice quiet and fearful. Sirius leaned in, close enough for Remus to feel his breath fanning across his skin.

'Now that'd be telling, wouldn't it?' He asked with a smirk, his eyebrow cocked.

The two of them held eye contact for a rather long moment before Remus looked down at his hands, blushing ever so slightly. Sirius didn't move. His chest barely even rose and fell with his breaths.

'What are you doing here Sirius?'

Sirius took a sharp intake of air, but his eyes never left Remus. 'I'm on a mission' He said quietly, his voice gravely. Remus frowned.

'A mission?'

'Yes a mission'

'Will you debrief me then?' Remus asked, chancing a glance up at Sirius, only to be met by the intense stare of his mates startling grey eyes. He suppressed a shiver.

'I'm gathering intel'

'Intel?'

'Yes, I'm trying to learn exactly why a certain Remus Lupin thinks that I'm going to abandon him just because he's a werewolf'

That wasn't exactly what he was expecting. He kind of guessed that they had figured it out after what Madam Pomfrey said, but he was expecting raised voices, maybe a few curses, and demands to stay away.

He felt a tear trickle down his cheek and inwardly cursed his traitorous emotions.

'It's rather absurd really' Sirius continued, pinning the werewolf down with his stare, grey eyes searching green ones. 'To think that said werewolf trusts me so little after all of these years'

Remus didn't answer. What could he say? He tried clearing his throat, but found a lump there that seemed to be too large to move.

'I guess it makes sense that he might be afraid, but I thought that I conveyed my support well enough, but I guess I was wrong'

It was silent for a moment before Remus finally managed to tear his eyes away from the other boys. 'Where did you get those marks?' He asked again, shutting his eyes tightly, wanting the entire situation to go away. He felt a calloused hand fall gently on his cheek, but only shut his eyes tighter.

'Do you remember how in second year I told you that I'd be your friend no matter what?'

Remus nodded ever so slightly, keeping his eyes shut and his head turned down. The hand on his cheek stayed.

'Then in fifth year I promised I'd always be there for you?'

Remus nodded again.

'I've kept my promise' Sirius said softly 'All of us kept my promise'

Realization dawned on Remus as a memory from second year entered his mind. It was just after Sirius's first promise, and he had made his way to the dormitory after a hard transformation. There was chocolate sitting on his bed with a note that said 'Eat this, you'll feel better'. Things like that continued. Not always after a full moon, but sporadically and rather often.

Then, in fifth year, he would wake up from his transformations with visions of a dog, a rat, and a stag. It was comforting. Somehow, it made the pain weaker.

'y-you' Remus attempted to say, glancing up at Sirius through watery eyes, his shoulders shaking and Sirius gave him a genuine smile.

'Yeah' He said, leaning in a bit more, allowing himself to do something he'd been wanting to do for years. He kissed the werewolf, softly, and the werewolf didn't fight it.

He pulled away slowly, looking intently at Remus who was, frankly, a bit shocked and overwhelmed. Sirius cracked a small grin.

'You'd find that I'd do anything for you'


	2. Prompt

**So, like all of my other fics, I am uploading the original prompt... and I have to say, this one-shot deviated quite a bit from the prompt. I'm not entirely sure what I was going for with the prompt, or what the story behind it was going to be.. I think I wrote this prompt after a difficult biology class. It was one of those 'I have no idea why, but I need to get it down on paper'. I'm glad I did, because I was thinking about it this weekend and the actual one-shot just went BAM!... So, without further ado, here you go!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything to do with the Harry Potter Universe. I wish I did, but I don't**

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Prompt

She hadn't meant for anyone to see, but her N.E.W.T.'s were wearing her down.

It's crazy how one mistake cost everything she had worked so hard to achieve. Everyone now saw what was behind her carefully constructed mask.

She forgot to put her glamour charms on one morning after she woke up late.

She was still tying her tie when she ran into her Charms class, one of her socks not even pulled up all of the way. The class had already started and Professor Flitwick frowned as every head turned.

Hermione forced a laugh.

'Everyone oversleeps every once in a while' she joked, trying to get all of the eyes off of her.

When they continued to stare she frowned and made her way to the seat Harry and Ron had saved for her.

It was when Harry wouldn't meet her eyes and Ron visibly grimaced when she realized something was wrong,

'What?' she asked, glancing around before looking down 'Is there something on my shir-'

She trailed off.

She saw what everyone was staring at.

Her scars were showing.

'oh'

She glanced up at Flitwick, who was frowning.

She heard a sharp laughter and whirled around to face Draco Malfoy, who smirked at her before lifting his feet up on an empty desk, quirking an eyebrow.

She ran.

Everyone knew.

She ran.

Tears ran down her face.

She ran.

No more hiding.

She ran.

She ran all the way to her dormitory, ignoring the worried protests of the Fat Lady.

Everyone knew.

She started to put on her charms, then stopped. It was no use. The whole school would know before lunch.

Fuck.

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 **A/N 2.0: So... Pretty different from the fic huh? I've honestly been thinking about it.. Where did I think this was going to go? What was going to be the story behind it? Why Hermione? Then it hit me... Not Hermione, Lupin! Then I was like... MUST WRITE! And so.. yeah.**

 **Let me know what you think :)**


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